Benghazi on the Thames

Harare – The Summit of the 3Z Alliance today announced that its Defence Ministries have declared a No-Fly Zone over Londonstan to prevent human-rights abuses against the democratic opposition forces led by the heroic Tottenham United Front (TUF). The 3Z Alliance, the military union of Zimbabwe, Zambia and former Zaire, has sent a diplomatic note to the illegitimate Parliament of Britain stating that any RAF warplanes caught hovering over Londonstan will be treated as targets for interception.

The restrained defensive measures are part of Humanitarian Operation Hotspur in support of peaceful protesters in Tottenham, Liverpool, Birmingham and other liberated zones of the former UK.

To ensure the safety of the general population, 3Z will air-drop weapons as needed by civilians to defend themselves against the military might of the tyrannical UK Regime and its EDF terrorist militia. This humanitarian intervention complies with the United Nations “right to protect” principle and is based on precedents set by the then-UK in Belgrade and Benghazi.

The leaders of the 3Z also strongly protest the inaccurate and irresponsible charges made by the Regime that civilians were deliberately targeted in the 3Z bombing of No.10 Downing Street and Westminster Cathedral last Sunday. These sites were being used by the Boris militias of Londonstan to launch anti-aircraft missiles against the friendly 3Z air forces delivering humanitarian aid, including crowbars, bricks and petrol, to the peaceful protesters on the streets. 

To ensure democratic governance and public safety, the 3Z powers will declare at midnight its official recognition of the TUF as the legitimate government of the newly formed Premier League of Liberated England or PL2E (pronounced “plah-tooey”). In line with the peaceful transition to democracy, all Royal ambassadors of the former UK and Commonwealth shall hand over their embassies, official documents and petty cash to the new government. 

Until free and fair elections can be organized, the newly appointed constitutional monarch and Head of State shall be King Francois de Bokasso I, the great-nephew of Emperor Bokasso of the Central African Empire who is a naturalized citizen of the former UK and an outstanding member of the Tottenham Council. The national flag to replace the belligerent Union Jack will be a yellow stripe on black background, as traditionally flown over Tottenham’s White Hart Lane Stadium. The national fruit is to be the BlackBerry, and the national bird is the Molotov cockatoo. 

To ensure the fiscal stability of the Sovereign state of PL2E., the 3Z powers will redirect all payment for recent exports of Cornish clotted cream and canned Yorkshire pudding into the Standard Chartered account, BVI branch, of the Tottenham United Front. Economic advisers also have been sent by the 3Z to improve the efficiency and promptness of tax collection from former UK businesses. Due to the Regime’s monopolistic policies and crony favoritism, the former UK economy has long failed to provide basic goods and services to the public, but is now experiencing a vibrant revival thanks to the ingenuity and hard work of the peaceful protesters.

Operation Hotspur is the first of many planned 3Z humanitarian missions in support of democracy and the fundamental rights of peaceful protesters from Amsterdam to New York, under the public diplomacy program popularly known as the Geranium Revolution or the Atlantic Summer.

May Democracy, Equality and the Freedom to Go Shopping for Free prevail against Repression, Aggression and VAT! 

For further information, please contact the 3Z foreign media relations bureau at the Tibesti Hotel 6F, Benghazi, Libya, Tel. +218-61-666000666.

Mr. Yoichi Shimatsu is Editor at large at April Media. This article is a Satire.

 

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