Nicely Marbled and Medium Rare

It’s definitely not non-news. Like a snug dress, this overwhelmingly popular story better fits the growing body of Nonsense in the news.
Lady Gaga made pin-up history for coming to the Emmy awards with her now-notorious meat dress. People for Ethical Treatment of Animals slammed her for adorning herself with raw flesh when she should have worn a salad instead.

The animal-rights group is right, since it’s bad taste to wear raw meat when it should always be well-cooked before serving. PETA is wrong, however, about a meat costume being bad for animals since there’s not a poodle or doberman who wouldn’t lick his chops at the sight of real red meat instead of soybean nuggets. For that matter, so do the guys. (Boys, be happy that, below,we’ve brought you the men’s mag cover of the Meat Bikini.)
Gaga is the lady to invite to your next barbecue. Just imagine this dizzy blonde asking: How’d you like it done? Rare, of course. No pepper or salt, please.
Now we admit, she may not the most gorgeous female since Eve, though she’s looking much sexier after diet pills, but this lady somehow makes us go gaga with all her crazy nonsense.

Back to the story line: What is wrong with wearing a dead animal? .PETA ran a huge campaign against fur, and that led to another gaga sight – all those protesting fashion models wearing no furs and no clothes, either. That was effective marketing. But what, really, is the difference between wearing a sirloin and donning a leather jacket? It’s just that we’re not used to eating leather.

The purpose of Gaga’s exercise, she says, other than blowing our minds was to protest how the Pentagon is backtracking on recruiting gays into the military. Nobody, just nobody can figure out exactly what her message is, but we’ll give it a try here and now.
Once decoded, her visual image goes like this: If you want to be in uniform, sweetie, you’re going to end up as Dead Meat. Why do gays want to join the military – or let’s rephrase it, why would Anyone – gay, straight or celibate – want to enlist? The debate is nonsense. Just shut down the Pentagon and ban the butchery known as warfare, since running around nude and alive is infinitely better.
Gaga dearest, we got your message of make love not war. So let’s start by peacemaking with the pet lovers and vegetarians. Do mind changing into a mushroom pizza?

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